The Glowing Edge

The glowing edge, I think that was the best phrase to express about youth life. Well, to be more specific it is about late teens and early twenties; when we are half understand half naïve about the real world. I’m sure, all human have sensibility to catch all exposures that given to him and adapt with it. The problem is, sometimes we just doing it unconsciously and then has it fossilized in our mind. For example, there is someone about 18 years old, he lives in a harsh situation in his home but at school of course he treated with polite manner (well, normal politeness at least). Deep in his heart, he knows exactly how to behave and how to treat someone nicely, but sometimes it is very hard to remove all misery in his heart. That will grow some dark side in his heart or what people called as “luka batin” and linger on it deeply. When he grow a bit older, he start to considered his wound and perhaps work to heal it and live happily as himself. That stage, when he fighting with his thought and forming a new brand of him, is so fascinating until somehow brighten my heart.

At this edge, we are so excited to explore the world, we want to be acknowledged as an adult and take the responsibility as full human. At the contrary, we sometimes look back longingly at the fence that we usually climb, at the yard we often play carelessly. A part of our heart feel save in our simple world when the biggest problem is submit the homework on time, but we also curious about the extravagant world with complicated story of adult. Perhaps this is the very first time we decide something after night long thinking, and feel so proud when it turns to great decision. We laugh about our silliness but silently missing it, and startled when considered how old our parents now. Those changes in our mind shines dimly, every moment we consider something or lose something leave a trace of light. Light that grows sincerely along the path that we take, guide us to find the true form of who we are.

On “The Extra Kobayashi” by Morino Sensei, there is a very interesting line that was spoken by a teacher on that story. That Teacher said that when we grow older, we will lose so many think, but firstly we will lose our braveness, because of that when we still have this quality as a raw material, that easily to form; we have to stand as who we are, and show our real charm as a youth. When I read this, I really feel super! You know, when someone reaches age of 20, perhaps climbing the tree only for getting the most ripping apple is not really interesting idea –for u can buy it on nearest shop-. We forget the excitement of conquer some dangerous trail and more troubled by shame and worries. How if I fall? How if someone see and laugh at me? (Or in my case, how if there’s caterpillar lair on that branch >.<)And then we just pass away, and forget that delicious apple. But those words remind me something precious, this is the first time I’m proud being incompetent person. I really think it is okay to act a bit careless and stubbornly find the answer with all my strength. It’s okay if I fall and hurt badly in a trial before I lost my guts. Because I know that I will learn something in the end and all those risks is worth to take. I do feel happy, because there is someone who understands this weird feeling in my heart, that call me to take every chance possible and experience everything; someone who will laugh away my mistake and pat my head gently to cheer me up. I can see the glowing edge in front my eyes, which I will get after I graduate from my teenage stage and being adult.

As a final point, I want to quote some words of graduation speech in Eclipse (The Twilight Saga) that amuse me a lot.

“This isn’t a time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love - a lot. Major in philosophy because there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again because nothing is permanent. So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… We won’t have to guess. We’ll know!“

Exactly like that! This the time to dream as crazy as you can, before your sense and logic kill that at the next day. This is the time to take the bold decision, before you own too much until it chain your feet. Spread your wing, looking for flyday and seize the world!!!!